Forgivness

I wake up some mornings thinking "what have I done?"
It was a month and a half ago... yet I still dwell, I still analyze, I still regret like it was yesterday. I live in that moment for hours at a time sometimes. Why didn't I fight for it? Who was I in that moment? I go through periods of being angry to periods of being sad, sometimes through slight pride, but always regret. I relive those hours over and over again. I pry my brain away from it's feast on remorse but it always goes back, there's just no stopping it. My consciousness is helpless, because my brain will always find its way back.
I talk to God at night these days. I've never really been the religious type, but I thought, who better to talk to then then the man known for forgiveness. I ask him if I could borrow some for myself.. so that maybe someday I'll be able to forgive my past self and move on. I'm not so sure that's been granted yet, but I know I've gotten some sort of strength because everyday I know I'm better off then I was yesterday.
Have you talked to God lately? It doesn't matter who you are.. It doesn't matter if your not religious, he will listen. He's good that way. Trying to let go of your past can be the most the most difficult thing in the world. Especially when your a different person than you were before. You just have to stay strong, have faith, and when all else fails talk to the man in charge!