Inspired by a Visit with Mommom - Remembering what She has Forgotten

It all just happened at once. No warning, no sign. After it hit, we were warned it was only going to get worse.
My grandmother has severe demensia.
Basically meaning that most of the memory of her life as she once lived and cherished has been swallowed by her age.
She doesn't remember what she said 30 seconds ago. When I was born. She doesnt remeber living with us or helping raise me and my sibblings our whole lives. She doesn't remember waking up every single morning to me patiently waiting by her bedside. In fact most of the time, she barely remembers my name.
It is facinating, the way her mind works. Because even with all the things she has lost, her memory is still partially with us, and every now and again she'll completely throw us off with it.
example
She remembers each of her 11 other sibblings and can recite thier names. She remembers her husband being drafted for WWII. She remembers standing up for african american rights during segregation and can identify Obama as: "our black president... good good." And of course she recalls the christmas eve her sister, Chip got drunk and fell into the christmas tree (a favorite of ours).
She recites one line over and over again. We dont know where it came from, an old nursery rhyme perhaps, tightly cemented in her distant mind.
Sometimes it's weird- remembering what she has forgotten, but it never makes me sad. Because I know it's there somewhere. Not one day of my life has she failed to teach me the key factors of what I am today. She has shaped me and taught me and inspired me to be who I am. And even to this day- when she calls me different names and says crazy things I learn something from her everytime I see her happy and smiling. Maybe so far the biggest lesson she has taught me and all of us is that the true fulfillment of your life is measured by your desire, your strength, and mostly, your happiness. So cherish every single moment, and seize every oppertunity. stay strong. and be happy.
Because in mommom world, the cup is ALWAYS half full! :-)

Christmas '08 me (burried in fake white hair) and mommom

The Future and my blogs ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Have you ever looked up to someone? I mean really idolize one person whether it be for their strength, or thier courage, or their talent, or thier ability to create an indent on every heart they touch.
The way I see it is- Within the course of my lifetime, if I could make an impact on any one person in this world as big as the one she has made on me, I will have truley fulfilled everything I could have possibly wanted in life.
I guess it has much to do with inpiration- knowing that one person believes you can do it.
Achieving feeds the fire- big or small, every new achievment attributes one more slice of cake to the hunger of success (you know i had to throw a food reference in there!)
Okay, another question. Have you ever experienced that glowing feeling when someone talks about your future. That feeling in your heart that makes you want to jump out of your chair and achieve your future right at that very moment. It's called motivation.
Okay I've veered off topic off topic here. With all this SAT and ACT and GPA and AP and all the other stuff they abbreviate, I've been thinking how much all these factors I mentioned in the beginning have tied together throughout the years all leading up to this particular moment in our lives.
I'm going to stop now before I start reciting my own goals and expectations.
Thats all for now!

BFFF dayy

thiss is laura and jimmy. we are having best friend dayyyy!!! YAY! we went to my house, ate pretzles (ALOT) then went to his house, watched lindsey lohan (whose lesbian, btw) then went to the mall and had asian night (complete with chinese AND japaneze food) it was GRRRRREAT! now were making a certain someone a cake... SHH! tomorrows our one month coming out anniversary!!! WOW one year... CRAZY!! i wrote a poem about him today, but it's not very good. we are listening to relient k! and partying. its great. annnd later were watching Hitler!!! woot woot im excited. 9:00 right teagen?
thats all for nowww, for all of us here at the studio, for jimmy, i'm laura, have a great day!

end of track... desicions

it's the way we understand eachother. how we can talk about just about anything. how anything that seems complicated in our lives at that particular time is easily simplified once we hit the pavement. it's the achievement of being exhausted after a tough workout. or running our hearts out to get the p.r. it's depending on it, on eachother. its earning it, every step. but more then anything, it's having that one person tell you he's proud of you, and mean it.
we all went into it for different reasons and we all ended it with different times, different personal bests and different goals, but what we all got out of it, what we all achieved is one in the same. we reached our goals. we learned how to be strong- physically, mentally, and internally. above all- we gained one another.
so i guess the most important thing i learned from track this season, is to never ever give up because theres always going to be a teammate waiting on the other side of the line.

now i have to decide between the path i've always followed and the one that just recently abruptly smacked me in the face. if i chose track, this descion is life altering. i would be letting down every teammate, every coach (including my dad) that has ever blieved in me. if i chose softball, i will be letting down my best friends... and myself.

poetry timeee!

Blinding spots rest upon the surface
of darkness,
a reflection from the source of enlightenment
camolauging the roughness,
the deep set obscurity
with a flawless radiance.
I will dye the cloaked dimness
with the explosive colors of charisma,
and enrich the misplaced strength.
Prized and appriciated I am,
appealing and enchanting
forever and beyond,
never giving into the sea of black.
Appealing and enchanting
I will conceal everything
forever and beyond.

mk, so for Creative Writing we had to write two poems, one on our dark side and one on our light side. Suprisingly the poem above is my light side poem about pretty scene and my smile and a couple other things. but i wouldn't title it that becuase then you wouldnt have to think about it and it would take away from the poem, so this poem is untitled.