Saturday, June 12, 2010 The Change I went in the same tiny room and sat in the same chair as I always had. As I thought back to the beginning, it seemed completely different compared to now. Though, barring a few added pictures to the wall, the room had barely changed at all since the first time I walked in. I was the one that changed. She talked about this year probably being the most pivotal year of my life. I never really thought about it until I starting remembering the first time I had stepped into her office. The day my world had completely fallen apart. I remember the exact feeling. As I sat there for the last time, I thought about all that has changed since then. I realized my life had to completely fall apart in order for everything to come together. I'm sitting here now smiling. Because this pivotal year, the ups and mostly, the downs have permanently shaped my life. Because not only do I know who I am right now, I know who I want to be, I know who I will be. And I know exactly what I want. After my junior year of high school, I can say, with confidence for the rest of my life I want to change people. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Five years ago, I realized a dream. It was this time five years ago, I was in the process of "change." Little did I know at the time how profound and multifaceted that transformation actually was. I'm writing this post with knots boroughing in my stomach. It has taken me five years to get this far. I recognize this post as if it were a long lost friend. This is the day I decided to "change people." And little did I know this was one of the most influential days of my life. Since then, this very thought would keep me up at night, it's what I would daydream about in 11th grade history class, and now as a twenty two year old, it's somewhere in the back of my head constantly, shaping each and every thought and feeling. When I was 17, I perceived this dream as a shot in the dark, a "maybe if I'm lucky", or an idea that would only pan out in the ideal world. I've set this time aside tonight to work on my personal statement. For grad school. To pursue a degree in social work and mental health counseling. However, somehow I ended up here, reviewing my blog post from 2010 and wondering how I will encompass everything that has gotten me to this point in my life, in two pages or less. Yes, I've had plenty of valuable experience of hands-on helping and "changing" people, yes I've taken all the classes and passed with flying colors, yes my life excites me, helping people excites me, being a leader, being driven, being passionate, excites me. But the most very important part of my journey was the five to ten minutes, four years ago I stopped to write this blog post. And even more importantly, the two years of change that not only empowered me to conquer my anxiety and self-destructive behavior, but "changed" me. As a person. And showed me how absolutely beautiful it is to care for other people, to understand, to reach, and to "change" other people. THAT'S how I got here.