just a thought...

I had this idea once. I remember the day it came to me. At the time, it seemed enormous. I remember feeling so small next to this thought. I decided on that same day, that it would be my destination in life. All of a sudden, I had something to work toward. And I was so so sure that as incomprehensible as the method of travel seemed at the time, that I would get there, someday somehow I would arrive. That day was seven years ago. Which seems like an eternity because of all I've gone through, all I've experience, all I've learned since then. In fact, I think the only thing that has remained the same from that day is this idea. I look at the faces of the middle school girls I work with twice a week. Sometimes I wonder exactly what it is they're gaining from the four hours a week I spend with them. What role am I playing in their lives? In some cases, like my own all it takes is a small flicker to start a flame. It's incredibly cool to think that somewhere, somehow you could be inspiring someone tremendously. I'm learning as you approach your destination in life, things start to get a little crazy. I'm writing this post because I feel most days I'm going a mile a minute organizing, and studying, and learning, and helping. And it's good, because I'm making it to where I want to be. But I think every now and again it's important to stop looking ahead for a second, and realize how far you've come- to recognize what a beautiful life you've had so far, even through challenge and tragedy, despair and doubt. I have a list of things that I thank God for every night. First off for my family and friends and health- things I would never want to take for granted. And lastly I thank God for blessing me with the ability and immense desire to make other peoples lives better. For without this, I would be completely lost. And that is my thought. All day long, resting in the back of my brain through endlessly thick readings and tireless cross country workouts, the first thing when I wake up and the last thing before I doze off. That is my thought.