Minutes

I used to think my best posts would happen when I had a lot on my mind. I've come to realize it's not when I'm thinking a lot that I write best, it's when I'm feeling a lot. My head doesn't seem to have much say in what I write most of the time, just like it doesn't have much say in how I feel. Trust me if it did, things would be very different. It seems like the older I get the more complicated things are. It's not just that I'm sick, It's that I'm sick on top of finals week. It's not just that I like a boy, it's that I like a boy that lives in a different state. I have so many more sources for my emotions, my frustration and my admiration and my confusion and my happiness. I feel things deeper than I have before. When I'm somewhere I like to be all there, and feel it fully and deeply. Even if that means staying awake for as many minutes as possible, just to feel that unadulterated happiness for just a tad longer. Because I've learned, as with so many other things, it's certainly not limitless. tooo be continued..