Misunderstanding Unfair

I guess I thought I'd come here to clear out my mind tonight. To sort out the thoughts I've been avoiding and built some big sturdy walls to keep the memories from flooding in. Writing just makes me feel good. Especially with no agenda or plan, just writing to write. In fact my writing has been syncing up with my running lately. Sometimes I just go on an on in any direction my thoughts take me. Sometimes without commas or capitol letters, sometimes with little breaks to catch my breath. I love that it doesn't matter. I have scratch paper filled with messy writing scattered all throughout my room and my new running shoes have some serious mileage on them already, and the best part is- it doesn't matter if the topics are off topic or if I run too fast or too slow. It's a beautiful beautiful thing. Repetition intended. You might be wondering what I could possibly thinking so hard about and usually I really don't have an answer. Life I guess. The future, sometimes. This and that. But tonight, tonight I know. Tonight is about forgetting. So life gets in the way sometimes. And it just doesn't seem fair. It never seems fair. But it is life and it does what it wants no matter what you think. While life doesn't always seem to value "fairness" it is however driven by a highly valued purpose. Maybe life is trying to make us understand the importance of the reasons rather then the unfair outcome we're dealt.
I don't regret that I day I decided to go against my voice of reason, my "better judgement" some may call it. This crappy situation I'm in at the moment is the cost of an unexpected strand of beautiful things, in which I don't regret a bit of. And a purpose. A big one. Bigger than the twinge of pain, bigger than the challenge of forcing memories down a drain that keeps burping them back up. This purpose is bigger than the "unfairness" we were dealt this round.
So, lesson learned- go with your heart. Even if it's risky, even if it may hurt somewhere down the line. The odds just may go in your favor. Maybe not. But even then, when it's scary and dark you're heart will find the purpose in the obstacles life throws in the way. Just breathe in, and breathe out.