A Conversation with Too Much to Say Part 1

Since I am having the hardest time in the world focusing on my paper right now, I thought I'd come to the one place where words always seem to flow smoothly without much effort at all. I have nothing and everything to say at the moment. You know those times when you have so many emotions that you're brain doesn't even know where to begin. Or maybe it doesn't want to begin, I'm not sure. Regardless, there are plenty of things to be said, and thoughts to be analyzed, and feelings to be torn apart and chopped and mushed and put through the juicer to be strained and sorted, every little last bit, BUT that's not what I'm going to do. How about just a nice little chat with my friendly little man, Mr. Blogger.
There was a person in my life, lets refer to him as...... he. okay? Him and I were close friends, and I mean really close. Do I dare drop the bf label? You know what, I'm going to do it. We were best friends. We had this crazy way of connecting that was incomparable. He would talk and I would listen and then we would reverse back and forth and back until- oh shit, we'd been talking for all hours of the evening. I still remember our first one way way back when in the very beginning when everything and everyone was terrifying. Now you're probably wondering why I've been using the past tense this whole time. It's because some pretty sticky stuff happened and now we barely make eye contact, let alone speak for several hours. The thing is,I miss it. It's taken me a while to choke up those words, but I really do. More than anything, I miss the simplicity of those talks, just two people who get one another. It never had to be anything more than that. I wish things weren't so stinkin awkward between us. I wish I didn't have to go around pretending not to know someone who, in actuality I know better than a lot of people. I wish I could forget. We've both moved on. And that's fine, it's only natural. The thing is, I don't miss being his girl, I don't hold onto his regrets anymore. I just miss those nights.